My mom is the most strong-minded, ambitious, and self-reliant lady I have ever known. Grew up in a 3-generation combined female-dominant family with no presence of men, she started her first job at 16, got married and raised 3 children in her 20’s, obtained college degree in her 40’s and master’s degree in 50’s. Currently working in a court and actively participating in public affairs and civil lawsuits, she has won herself a prestige as an “Alpha Woman”, which is exactly her dream!
At the same time, she also played her role as a traditional woman in family life, taking care of cleaning, cooking, child-rearing…… The difference is, it was much out of her obligation, rather than her own choice. For many times when I was little, I heard her regretting having started family (which includes the existence of me!), wasted her time and energy on the mundane house chores that would make the realization of her dream difficult. Looking back from now, I see the dilemma in which a woman struggled between her role as an independent individual who had a big dream in her heart, and the role as a woman that had been assigned to her by the culture.
Interestingly, my mom changed when she was older. Claiming her children and grandchildren the most valuable assets and most important traces of her life, she is happily playing her role as a loving mother and grandmother. In her words, she is making “compensation” for not being able to cherish us enough when we were young, and for our tolerance of her endless battles with my dad on “Who is the decision maker”!
Raised by my feminist mother, I was instilled with the beliefs that women can achieve as well as men. With her acute observation, my mom helped me make important decisions both in career and personal life. As most modern women today, sometimes I see myself on the same track as my mom was: trying to find a balance between career and family life, struggling transforming across the roles of the different “caps” on my head. Then I thought of my mom, I told myself: It is meaningless to debate on “Man and woman, which is superior?” or whether you are "Fiminist" or "Anti-Feminist", what really count is how you view things as important in your life, you follow your heart and “just do it”!